year: 1984
cast: Arnold Swarzenegger
director: Richard Fleischer
rating: ***
More of an esamble piece with characters played by Wilt Chamberlain and Grace Jones, but their characters served the plot decently enough, the plot involving a virgin princess (Olivia D'Abo) who must be "delivered" with her virginity intact, and Conan and his "posse" are hired for the delivery and they fight some nasty creatures along the way. Tracey Walter is doing the same kind of role that great-surfer-turned-bad-actor Gerry Lopez did in the original but as comic relief, he's not very funny. Although it doesn't matter. Battles ensue and we're not thrust into a long epic like the first film, and unlike the first there's not just one villain but a lot of them, including Sarah Douglas as an evil queen, a couple of monsters and a metallic snake!
I of course agree with you 100% that the first CONAN THE BARBARIAN movie wasn't Conan. I still loved it though.
ReplyDeleteI HATED this movie from the first time I saw it in the movie theater. Each time I have tried to watch it since I hate it even more.
I will tell you why. Grace Jones, annoying. I've never understood her appeal. It's fair to say she was less annoying in this movie than she was in A VIEW TO A KILL, Roger Moore's last James Bond movie. Wilt Chamberlain, why o why Wilt Chamberlain. Horrible. Olivia D'Abo, ugh (and that's me using restraint. I won't tell you how I really feel).
I wanted to love this movie as much as I loved the first one. I was a huge Conan fan long before the first movie came out. I had read all the paperback Conan books that L. Sprague de Camp had brought out. Unfortunately they didn't just have Robert E. Howard's Conan stories in them but De Camp's and Lin Carter Conan stuff to. They finally rectified that situation eventually by bringing out just the Robert E. Howard Conan stories (which I have all 3 hardcovers thank you very much).
Let Robert E. Howard rest in peace, this movie sure didn't.