HARLEM NIGHTS (1989)
In BEVERLY HILLS COP, the fact that Eddie Murphy's best friend was murdered meant nothing during scenes when he would, for example, argue with a hotel manager about getting a room, or argue even harder with employees at a warehouse about why he's snooping around... There aren't many pockets within the rather cliche old-school gangster flick involving gangsters and crooked cops wanting to move in on the main characters (THE GODFATHER ring a bell?) for comedy geniuses like Pryor, Murphy or Foxx to do their thing... Being constantly stuck within the story, HARLEM NIGHTS is as claustrophobic to the audience as it was to the actors... a shame since there are some worthwhile moments and potential to be had... But Murphy was obviously over his head, mainly as director... His timing was off in both the performance and cadence/timing of the overall picture... So John Landis would have been a far better choice to put everyone else's pressure off Murphy so he can shine: see COMING TO AMERICA, another Eddie Murphy production, for all the proof you'll need...Or watch Ted Demme's LIFE, set during the same era only taking place in prison, and with a dream sequence involving a similar nightclub and you'll see that Murphy's juggling too many plates to serve-up a satisfying main course. Rates: **1/2
CHEERS SEASON 1 AND PILOT EPISODE
Rather, Diane seems to be on the sidelines, constantly reminding Sam that he's not so wonderful while she, at the same time, is more flawed than anyone... In a way, this first season is a lot like Laverne & Shirley... You have a confident, sexually-active leader who makes many mistakes while being constantly checked by a nervous counterpart who's afraid to really live, and both need each other to basically survive... Also different in the first season, Norm and Cliff aren't yet Norm and Cliff, or even Cliff and Norm... Like Happy Days took a little while before Potsie and Ralph became a team, Norm's more on his own here while Cliff shows up sporadically, not yet the full-blown equal-share character, and he isn't even billed in the opening credits... And to narrow it down, this pilot is one of the great openings of TV history... Everything is shaped from within the first fifteen minutes, the only difference is that Diane is the newcomer white-rabbit leading us into her accidentally newfound wonderland, soon becoming our own... Being dumped by her fiance, she winds up where we'd be for 11 seasons, six of those without the very person who brought us here...
Sure, Cheers would improve in many ways, when it became an almost equal ensemble instead of a romantic-situation-comedy with the barflies on the side, but, then again, there's nothing like these early Coach episodes (the first two seasons especially, before he got noticeably ill in season 3)... And best yet, there's nothing quite like Season 1, before everybody knew their name. Year: 1982 Rating: ****1/2
COCAINE: ONE MAN'S SEDUCTION (1983)
Watching a hippie get high is like
watching a fish swim... but seeing an otherwise conservative Willy
"Death of a Salesman" Loman type blasting coke up his nose is always fun
to watch, and of course quite rare, and Dennis Weaver, known for
playing either tough or frantic roles, kind of balances both here...
His
good wife's Karen Grassle, his good son's James Spader, his semi-wild
buddy's Jeffrey Tambor and the truly wild office flirt, who introduced
him to the dealer to gave him a boost, is Pamela Bellwood, so the cast
is sublime... But what makes this work is the realistic arc into
his addiction and how the drug is treated here: first helping his
fledgling sales (the best part) until the monkey starts showing, aka, he
becomes a scene: And the more Dennis does coke the more he strays
from McCloud and morphs into the zany motel worker in Touch of Evil, and
overall, whether soberly depressed or high as a kite or crashing like
one, does a fantastic job, not overacting like he could have... meaning,
he really seems high on coke, not some old actor putting us on. Rating: ****
CROSSING DELANCEY
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| Peter Riegert in Crossing Delancey Year: 1988 Rating: ***1/2 |
Which means something two-fold since, as a perfectly normal, hard-working owner of a Manhattan pickle store, he's the last person that gorgeous Jewish single girl Amy Irving wants to date... especially because her own doting mother (and mom's doting friend) really, almost desperately wants the relationship to happen...
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| Amy Irving in Crossing Delancey |
Then again, all these distractions (also including a handful of girl-friends that often seem like three characters in one) make the relatively few sequences with Riegert that much more important and effective, and even romantic... in a perfectly suited anti-romantic-comedy fashion, neatly towing the line of mainstream and art-house.
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| Amy Irving and Peter Riegert in Crossing Delancey |
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| Peter Riegert in Crossing Delancey with Peter Riegert |
EASY MONEY (1983)
Hands down the best scene of EASY MONEY has Rodney Dangerfield insulting a fat kid and his family... where he seems like characters from superior flanking films CADDYSHACK and BACK TO SCHOOL, spouting quick barbs that roll right off the iconic comic's tongue...
Which rarely happens here since Rodney's stuck in a movie with a limited and constricting plot-line: he has to quit all his vices, from gambling to smoking pot to drinking to overeating, to become as rich as his previous characters in those aforementioned classics...
But there aren't that many effective one-liners (Joe Pesci laughs so
hard at a few decent ones, he steals the audience's laughter)... and witty insults are what cinematic Dangerfield is all about... Meanwhile,
the b-story involving daughter Jennifer Jason Leigh avoiding sex with
new husband Taylor Negron is not only horribly unfunny, but their scenes
drag far too long... Getting in the way of a comedy that's more
entertaining than funny... not a bad thing, but it's far from top-shelf
Dangerfield, smoking pot and drinking beer more like a crude fan than
what he himself can effectively (and hilariously) channel onto the big
screen. Grade: C+
SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE (1987)
Set in the mid-1980's during the Reagan Administration: when Russia had nukes aimed at America and vice versa... only here the superhero plot demands the kind of urgency where The Cold War's turned into an impending/existential threat... which it NEVER was... an idealistic and childish plot with schoolchildren calling for Superman to get rid of all the nuclear missiles, and Gene Hackman has returned as Lex Luthor, burdened with godawful teenager Jon Cryer as a geek-punk nephew, so it doesn't even feel like Hackman's involved: His goal to sell nukes to opposing countries while having somehow gained the scientific knowledge to create his very own superhero, Nuclear Man, something so corny even a TV-movie would avoid it...
Meanwhile, Margot Kidder has returned, and even flies around with Superman, but she's wedged in during a romance with b-villain Sam Wanamaker's rich girl daughter Muriel Hemingway, who tries her best only she's stuck in the wrong picture... So don't blame Cannon for a lead actor attempting to manipulate audiences into thinking The Cold War was actually red hot... and by 1987 that anti-nukes concept was tired and dated anyhow. Grade: F
MRS. SOFFEL (1984)
And being a likeable, wink-at-rebellion
movie-rebel countered by a bullying guard, there's absolutely no edge
(or glory) to his performance that would, in a better film, provide
Gibson a possible Oscar nomination... he simply plays it too safe and
affable here, as does the director... Who painted a deliberately bleak canvas nicely recreating turn-of-the-century rural America
in its mahogany landscapes, dire factories and the actual prison... But
what's here is more a Harlequin Romance montage than either an
effective prison-plot-escape thriller or true story that needed
telling: because storywise, MRS. SOFFEL is more whispered than spoken and, soon after, completely forgotten. Rates: **
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (NOVELIZATION)
If a novelization flows, it doesn't matter how many times you've seen the movie, since, on the printed page, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK works since it becomes purely pulp adventure... and at the same time there's a closeness to the iconic character, Archeologist/Professor Indiana Jones, that doesn't give away too much of what the motion picture intentionally leaves out...
Downpoints are Indy making out with one of his students in his house... we don't need to know that he plows the flirting eye-lid girl; or learning that Marion, to purchase the tavern, worked as a prostitute after her father, Indy's mentor, died; or, later on, Marion fighting lustful temptation after Belloq's polite kidnapping and yet, on the other hand, we get to follow Indy going from a crowded Cairo airport to a dark highway, driving through the pouring rain, searching for Ravenwood's place while being stalked by another mysterious vehicle and, along with other nifty insights during the many adventurous sequences, it all works since the chapters are long, thoroughly expressive, the action precise, the dialog intentionally corny (pulpier than the film): and no matter how many times you've seen RAIDERS on the screen, while reading it feels like reliving the legendary classic for the first time. Book Grade: B—
MIRACLE OF THE ORIGINAL 'GHOSTBUSTERS'
Basically, the original GHOSTBUSTERS was a shocking success that no one saw coming (including all those who were THERE on opening night). Had John Belushi starred alongside Akyroyd as intended, it probably would have not worked since Belushi, as great as he was and always the craziest guy in the proverbial crazy train, didn't have the subtle skill of undoing all the work done by others. Murray was there all along to say, "This story is silly and I don't know why I'm here" which was needed given the insane premise and, without him OR Harold Ramis to make Dan's character that much more serious-minded about all the mind-boggling, fantastical science, there's simply no use of trying to trap the same lighting in the same bottle… which, as noted several times, wasn't even possible in 1989 for an unnecessary sequel attempting to tread the same ground that was miraculously successful to begin with.
A KILLER IN THE FAMILY (TV MOVIE)
Year: 1983 Cast: Robert Mitchum, James Spader, Lance Kerwin, Eric Stoltz rates: **
Google a picture of the real life sons after they were arrested... Look at their hard, calloused faces, edgy, mean, deadly... Then watch as little-dipper eyed Lance Kerwin and docile Eric Stolz play the whining, kindhearted, manipulated, vulnerable, blue-eyed sons of the father they broke out of the jail... A father who kills an entire family including a small child...
Anyhow, if KILLER IN THE FAMILY were meaner and colder, like the real life Tison family, who were rampaging white trash serial killers throughout Arizona, unlike especially the law student son played by James Spader, supposedly wanting to kill his father while on the road, then it'd be more realistic and more an exploitation piece instead of a TV-movie that's not sure who exactly the bad guys are...
Much of the blame is laid on the dad's convict friend. Sadly, this road movie could have been really good, but Robert Mitchum was far too old to play a man with sons that could be his grandchildren... With a melting face, he has one of those ballooned stomachs that looks hard as steel from drinking and he can hardly move his old bones... Miscast, to say the least... Again, Google the real Gary Tison and see the empty shell of a human being, around forty-years old and dead to life, dead to the world...
Either way, while not terrible and sometimes entertaining, this was a missed opportunity... Reminds one of the horrible Death of a Centerfold TV-movie, that was soon trumped by the incredible theatrical Star 80... Too bad nothing came out to straighten out this crooked mess... There's a Straight-to-Video job starring Robert Patrick from 2017, but... The best thing to come out of this was the Warner Archives DVD with the original blue outlined cover; a collector's edition but, sadly, what's inside there is merely a forgotten curio, for good reason.
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH
MIDNIGHT
year: 1982cast: Melanie Verlin, Lawrence Tierney, John Amplas, David Marchick
rating: ***1/2
A teenage girl runs away from home, and with good reason. Her overweight, alcoholic policeman step dad tried to rape her, and he’s played by Noir legend Lawrence Tierney, ten years shy from his revamp in Quentin Tarantino’s RESERVOIR DOGS. The girl hitches a ride with two dudes in a van that eventually veers off on a back road – and like any low-budget horror film, this is a very bad mistake for the characters, but heaven to the viewer. Eventually our heroine faces a psychotic hillbilly clan ala TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. Plenty of violent, gory murders served up by makeup guru Tom Savini creates an eerily hellish daytime nightmare – ultimately peaking with a satanic ritual at, you got it, midnight. Despite the anemic budget, and with the exception of Tierney and horror icon John Amplas (along with his psycho siblings), there are a few meager performances, but no matter: Here’s an exploitation that entertains from the bloody beginning to the bloody end.
STAYING ALIVE
year: 1983
bad movie rating: ***1/2
BLUE CITY
title: BLUE CITYTHE FOREST
title: THE FORESTyear: 1982
cast: Gary Kent, Corky Pigeon
rating: ***
The set-up to this woodsy body count low budget slasher: the slaying of two couples arriving at the forest... The women first and their boyfriends later... Is merely a platform for something else involving the ghosts of two children and a crazy, cannibalistic father played by director Don Jones's stock actor Gary Kent, who kills, then eats, all females that cross his path. A lot of activity, including a backstory involving the then-normal dad, kids, and a cheating wife, keeps you interested enough to forget it's yet another FRIDAY THE 13th ripoff, but with a unique personality all its own.
RETURN OF THE JEDI
year of release: 1983
rating: ****1/2
Mark Hamill, better than ever, along with Darth Vadar and IanMcDiarmid as the Emperor owns this one while Harrison "Han Solo" Ford and Carrie "Princess Leia" Fisher provide the working-class action of the B story...
Having landed on the Forest planet of Endor (where lives too-adorably-contrived creatures called Ewoks who, along with overlong expository scenes, slow down the pace until they prove their underdog defense tactics), they have to shut down the Death Star's shields so that Lando, with the aid of Wedge and other pilots, blow up the Death Star... in a dogfight like no other. And the first act, back on Tattoine, in and out of Jabba's Palace, proves that Jim Henson's puppetry does wonder over CGI, a blend of noir and pirate lore kicking things off with a pulpy roar.
DRAGNET
cast: Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks
rating: ***
Plot involves a group called P.A.G.A.N. who worship the devil and burn buildings and then leave their business cards behind after each scorching. Dan Aykroyd not only gets to ramble in his monotone to his partner Tom Hank's chagrin, but also, like the famous TV series, provides the straight-forward narration throughout. It's a little bit painful for a while - Aykroyd playing the character as someone as annoying as the original Friday seemed to baby boomers, at least until the plot comes together, and Friday gets a love interest (Alexandra Paul), then you actually feel something for the characters. Hanks lands a couple funnier lines, the bad guys become revealed, and the car chases aren't too bad. In no way is this an endorsement to rent or buy this flick, but if you accidently happen on it on cable, it won't kill you like other Aykroyd ventures such as "Loose Cannons", "My Stepmother is an Alien" and the worst film ever made, "Nothing But Trouble".
BACKDRAFT
title: BACKDRAFTHOMER AND EDDIE
title: HOMER AND EDDIEHAUNTED HONEYMOON
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