year: 2001
cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Patrick Swayze
rating: *

This is one of those "If you don't like it, you don't get it" movies. I don't get it, and I don't like it. So there! Well I figure, the Emo Generation needs to FEEL weird because life can be so damn ordinary. Then this will do them JUST FINE. (I realize many older non-Emos dug this flick, but allow me my indulgences... it's MY SITE!). Personally, I was bored silly. While it does go to STRANGE places the mundane aspects soar: the kids speak in cliche movie-talk and we get to know all about who the director wanted to win the Presidential election of 1988 (the "Lisa Simpson" sister reminds us SEVERAL TIMES who SHE'D vote for, and she's a lot cooler than that stupid uptight father, therefore...). The plot involves... shit, I'm still not sure. I just wish the ENTIRE airplane would have landed on the movie set before filming started, taking out the script to boot. And that dumb rabbit, meant to be "so silly it's SCARY!". Oh and Patrick Swayze (who died today) plays a motivational speaker hired by the stick-in-the-mud principle (or was she a secretary?) to speak to the kids. Swayze's character is SO shallow the main character has to INFORM the students (i.e. the audience) of his shallow absurdness, but did we really need to be REMINDED that a character who was created to suck, sucks? Okay, I'll admit, I'm out of touch. And I thank God on high. For a film to combine science-fiction with art-house depth and teenage angst, I at least should give it SOME credit. But I'm all out at the moment.

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