HEAVY METAL

title: HEAVY METAL

year: 1981

rating: ***

The sexually explicit, violently-glorious cartoon is tops for about an hour, and then, during the last thirty minutes involving the searing, pointless journey of a gorgeous sword-wielding chick who flies a giant turkey (which is the movie/album/poster/VHS/DVD image), the animators get carried away by their own visual talents, abandoning the energetically flowing pace of the first hour involving wanton babes shedding their clothes and monstrous heads being hacked-off with some cool tunes (few of them actually heavy metal) as we follow the handoff-journey of a murderous space-born green orb through the lives of characters such as a Film-Noir-esque cabbie (voiced by Robert Romanus i.e. "Mikey" from MEAN STREETS); a nerdy kid who becomes a bald strongman on another planet; zombies making a WWII flying ace's life a living hell; and several other deliciously weird tales. John Candy, providing voices for a few characters, takes you out of the escapist-factor just a bit... but no matter. It's still a dynamic visual treat. And then some. 

SIX PACK

title: SIX PACK

year: 1982

cast: Kenny Rogers, Diane Lane, Erin Gray, Anthony Michael Hall, Terry Kiser, Barry Corbin

rating: **

When people think of acting it's usually how a performer speaks his or her lines. But acting is just as physical as verbal. How a person walks, runs, sits, stares in repose/reflection, is just as important as line delivery, and Kenny Rogers does it all horribly. Witnessing a fat Kenny (with an always perfectly combed shaggy dog beard) playing a car racer who every woman on earth is nuts about (including Erin Gray) hanging out with a bunch of orphaned freewheeling car thief kids (including Diane Lane and Anthony Michael Hall) is as entertaining for bad movie fans as a bad movie gets. Just sit and stare at Mr. Rogers, who fully realizes there is a camera pointing at him, and you will be thoroughly entertained on a level impossible to explain till you experience it for yourself. For those who live for cinematic torture, I recomend this highly.