RIP DENNIS WATERMAN OF 'THE SWEENEY'

Dennis Waterman joins his SWEENEY partner John Thaw in that great gig in the sky; both have something in common other than their SWEENEY show and double-feature theatrical movies fitfully titled SWEENEY! and then the far superior SWEENEY 2...... 

They never stopped starring in hit British show, particularly Waterman who started as a child actor, headlining a series WILLIAM as, you got it, WILLIAM, followed by FAIR EXCHANGE, THE BARNSTORMERS and then in his late twenties and thirties the aforementioned THE SWEENEY...

Which was quickly followed by that production company's crime comedy MINDER, then a comedy called ON THE UP and finishing with a very long goodbye for almost twenty-years on the old-guys-back-on-the-force crime comedy NEW TRICKS...

In-between all this he appeared in two Hammer flicks, one as a child the other his early twenties, THE PIRATES OF BLOOD RIVER (opposite future SWEENEY guest star David Lodge) and then side-by-side with Christopher Lee in SCARS OF DRACULA. Boy was he busy. This is about the only rest he ever had. Farewell. 

TRILOGY OF TERROR

title: TRILOGY OF TERROR

year: 1975

cast: Karen Black

creator: Richard Matheson

director: Dan Curtis

rating: ***1/2

Seeing Karen Black play four roles (or rather, three roles and four characters) in a TV-movie showcasing three Night Gallery style stories is a great thing. The first involves an uptight spectacle-wearing college teacher who's seduced by her handsome bad-intention-driven honor student. Without giving away the twist, it's a great episode because Karen's playing someone she's not, and you'll have to watch it a second time to truly get it. The next deals with two sisters: one a crotchety sourpuss, the other a sexy blond. The twist is way too obvious: they're the same person. Blame the writer for this, not Karen, for she plays both roles well. The third and best is what the movie's known for, dealing with Black's character who purchased a foot-high spear-donning Zuni Fetish Doll. If the waist-sash falls off the doll, it comes to life. Guess what falls off the doll? The little bugger chases Karen around the apartment sounding like the Tasmanian Devil on PCP; imagine Animal from the Muppets gone loco. It's beauty and the doll at this point, a battle that doesn't let-up. This is the most entertaining and scariest of the bunch - dealing with a thing you just can't kill that can get you from beneath: the fear of snakes or spiders on hyperdrive. But the first story's where Black's acting (as opposed to reacting) really shines, making it my personal favorite.

FADE IN TO MURDER (COLUMBO)

year: 1976
rating: ****

This episode, during one of the final seasons where the writers knew exactly what to deliver, epitomizes everything great about the popular detective series: as scruffy Lt. Columbo busts high class people who think they've pulled off the perfect crime - which the audience sees in punctuating detail in the first fifteen minutes - by pestering them into submission and, while complementing their abilities to aid him at his job, underrates himself as being totally incapable without their help i.e. the bad guys basically screw themselves. William Shatner plays a TV detective, a "fictionalized" Columbo, who kills a woman (Lola Albright as a beautiful cougar) who's taking control of half his paycheck. The murder-motivation is somewhat thin but how Shatner provides his alibi, using Bert Remsen, spiked booze, and an early-model VCR, is quite clever. Several gloriously long scenes involving Falk and Shatner going back and forth with various theories is downright hypnotic: Falk doing what he does best and Shatner pontificating with his iconic halting-speech style which, since he's playing a bad actor, seems like intentional self-parody. Timothy Carey as a cafe owner, and Walter "Chekov" Koenig, provide nifty cameos.

ST. ELSEWHERE (SEASON 1)

title: ST. ELSEWHERE (SEASON 1)

year: 1982

cast: Ed Flanders, Norman Lloyd, Denzel Washington, David Morse, Howie Mandel, David Birney, Cynthia Sykes, Terrence Knox, Christina Pickles, William Daniels, Kim Miyori

rating: *****

Putting aside the horrendous fact that the entire show could be the imagination of an austic boy (as implied in the last episode), I see ST. ELSEWHERE... at least in its primal stage... as a show about a REAL LIFE hospital stuck in purgatory and constantly badgered by a determined, pesky demon called Fate. The first season sets up how each character deals with that demon and adjusts into the purgatory setting. Ed Flanders as "Dr. Donald Westphall" gets everything loaded upon him; in his always saddened owlish eyes embody the pains of not only the patients, but the young doctors under his meek, yet always respected, leadership. What doesn't hinder "Westphall" will encroach upon his youthful version, David Morse as the heart-felt, thoroughly involving and ueber-sensitive "Dr. Jack Morrison"... trying to make things better even though that unseen yet always formidable "curse" resides throughout the hallways of "St. Eligus" i.e. "St. Elsewhere", a hospital where people "end up", seemingly without choice. Denzel Washington, as "Dr. Philip Chandler", the only actor to have, after the show's run, make it REALLY big and to win a couple Oscars, keeps his head cool with acute professionalism and, as the only character seemingly immune of the demon, is also an example to the other young doctors by always being in control. You'd think Howie Mandel, as the playful jokey "Dr. Wayne Fiscus", provides only comic relief, but his acting - and character - is on par with the others; his upbeat personality, while distracting the demon, is often made to wrestle with it head-on. Ed Begley Jr., as nerdy yet capable newbie surgeon "Dr. Victor Ehrlich", is connected with the show's protagonist, the uppity chief-surgeon "Dr. Mark Craig", played wonderfully by William Daniels, who, if it were another actor, could have easily been an over-the-top, unrealistic character... both young and old surgeon are perfect loggerheads, keeping each other in check at every turn. Terrance Knox as "Dr. Peter White" begins as a family man but then shows his darker side - this dough-eyed, spacey, robotic and often clumsy doc becomes more and more "possessed" in every episode. David Birney, who only lasted a few seasons, as the handsome, charming ladykiller "Dr. Ben Samuels", who listens to really bad covers of Bruce Springsteen and Police songs while in surgery, does a decent job as the show's sex symbol, but doesn't really fit like the others... the stranger the show gets, the more he's out of place, belonging in a more "normal" hospital. Least I forget the women: the tough-yet-not-overbearing, and downright gorgeous Cynthia Sykes as "Dr. Annie Cavanero", who never backs down to what she believes are the best decisions, even when she's wrong; Kim Miyori as Cavanero's young version - who seems like she could also become another Dr. Craig with her stubborn, often uptight perfectionism; Christina Pickles as the head nurse who becomes somewhat of an overall baseline... And rounding things out is Norman Lloyd as the show's Yoda, the seventy-two year old liver specialist ironically dying of liver cancer who gets a repreive by chemotherapy... making him wiser and a constant advisor to Westphall. (And least I forget some of the special guest stars including the then-non-famous Tom Hulce, Ray Liotta, Tim Robbins, and Michael Madsen... And G.W. Baily as the semi-regular head of the psych-ward, who, like Birney, didn't last long but did a decent enough job). All in all, this is one of the best-acted TV dramas I've ever experienced. All these doctors keeping their sanity intact within the halls of a bustling, eerie hospital where that Demon Fate not only lives, but thrives.

PRESCRIPTION: MURDER

title: PRESCRIPTION: MURDER

year: 1968

cast: Peter Falk, Gene Barry

rating: ***

Columbus discovered America, and I've discovered Columbo, one of the best crime shows ever made. The perfect murder almost pulled-off by usually high class high brow society members thwrated by the epitome of "the little guy": a sloppy glass-eyed remora cop who eventually gets his man or woman by slowly figuring out what we, the audience, already know by sticking to them like crazy glue: each episode beginning with a creative homocide - the audience sees who the killer is and it's up to Columbo to figure things out from there. That was the series that came out in 1971, but this, the 1968 TV movie, not even called COLUMBO: PERSCRIPTION FOR MUDER but simply PERSCRIPTION FOR MURDER, isn't that great because, for one, Falk hadn't completely found the character yet. He only wears his trademark trenchcoat (the reverse superman cape) halfway through the episode, in the beginning donning a somewhat nifty suit. He's not clumsy and unassuming but precise, clean-shaven with a neat short haircut, not looking much different than the classy psychiatrist he's out to bust for killing his wife: aided by his lover, a beautiful actress. Columbo is more of a snarky tough guy than an accidental, neurotic genius here... although he does underrate himself somewhat and badgers people - only it's not as fun or entertaining. The third episode (actually, the second episode, not including this movie which ISN'T a pilot) MURDER BY THE BOOK (1971), directed by Steven Speilberg, REALLY gets the ball rolling. And it's all uphill from there. "Oh, and one more thing..."

THE BUNKER

title: THE BUNKER

year: 1981

cast: Anthony Hopkins, Richard Jordan, James Naughton

rating: **

Too much emphasis on making Anthony Hopkins LOOK like the infamous German dictator while his acting is either too little or too much: mellow one minute, over-the-top the next. The mellow Hitler seems constrained by the make-up while the screaming Hitler is trying to break out of it. Richard Jordan as Hitler's faithless confidant keeps some kind of balance going on, but not enough. Hopkins as Hitler fares better in a photograph than a performance.

LOCH NESS

year: 1996

cast: Ted Danson

rating: **1/2

A scientist who spent many failed years trying to find Bigfoot (thus ruining his career like "McGee" in "The Incredible Hulk") is sent to Loch Ness, Scotland to find "Nessie", aka The Loch Ness Monster. But he's really there to PROVE the monster DOESN'T exist so he can put all monster-chasing behind him forever. Tension builds decently during the "hunt" - boat on lake trolling for the "beastie", much to the chagrin of Ian Holm, who is basically the Sheriff - and in the "Jaws" fashion the monster is IMPLIED, not shown. The characters within the little town are very likeable and the chemistry between wary American Danson, tough yet pretty Joely Richardson (as a pub owner) and her cute daughter is sweet without being corny. Then when Danson finally SEES what he's been after (following the little girl into a cavern) it's a let-down because the TWO "beasties" (that's right, two "Nessies") are CGI just like ANY "Jurrassic Park" dino, which we've seen a hundred times already. Gone is the "awwww" factor as we now enter into the last strech of the film, which is a big letdown. But for the most part this is a decent ride.

THE AMAZING HOWARD HUGHES

year: 1977

cast: Tommy Lee Jones, Ed Flanders, Lee Purcell

rating: **1/2

Okay so this was edited from a longer version and comes off as a greatest hits of Howard Hughes. The story merely glosses through different aspects of his life without much detail. Tommy Lee Jones was good... but at the end you're not sure what made him driven, or crazy, in the first place.

COACH OF THE YEAR

title: COACH OF THE YEAR
year: 1983

cast: Robert Conrad, Erin Gray

rating: **1/2

TV movie with Robert Conrad as an ex. football player turned Vietnam vet who becomes paralized from the waist down and wants to coach for his old team the Chicago Bears. They want to give him a soft job doing PR work but he won't have it, he wants to coach. His nephew is a bad seed and ends up at a slightly harsher juvy hall and Conrad ends up coaching football to the bad kids. Cliche-ridden, sure... but this underdog story has enough good points, and its heart in the right place, to make it decently entertaining.

SOMEONE'S WATCHING ME

year: 1978
rating: ***

After John Carpenter shot to stardom with the groundbreaking horror film "Halloween", a made-for-TV movie was the next step... Huh? But it's not bad. Plot centers on a director played by Lauren Hutton - the David Letterman of supermodels - who is, as the title implies, being watched by someone in the building across from her own. Some of the dialog is silly and the characters aren't fleshed out, but the pace keeps flowing, the tension mounts well, and there's that neat Carpenter steady-cam throughout (although sadly there's no spooky-synth Carpenter score). At times this feels like a theatrical thriller edited-for-television; other times it's like watching a TV movie that, with more work, could have made it to the big screen. All in all it's a Hitchcock homage, but looks more like a Brian DePalma-doing-Hitchock. Either way, "Someone's Watching Me" is not too shabby for a small screen effort. Hardcore JC fans shouldn't be dissapointed.

EAST OF EDEN

year: 1981

cast: Timothy Bottoms, Jane Seymour, Sam Bottoms

rating: ***1/2

Although flawed, this is a sometimes delicious soap operetic version of the novel, covering almost everything in the book in three parts. Timothy Bottoms plays Adam Trask, Warren Oates his father: they both do a wonderful job as both are wonderful actors. Oates gives the movie a great jump-start, and Timothy Bottoms takes the reigns nicely. Bruce Boxlitner as Charles Trask... well, let's just say he wasn't great, but wasn't bad either. He can pull-off the sexy-lonely-stud aspect in the bedroom scenes, but doesn't seem mean enough, scary enough, or tough enough for the other scenes involving the sibling rivalry. But the story is classic and this adaptation sticks to it nicely. And it was a nice treat seeing Timothy Carey in a cameo: playing a screaming tent-preacher. Carey, one of the greatest cult actors of all time, played a bodyguard in the original film who beats up James Dean, star of the 1955 film that, centering on the last quarter of the novel, pales in comparison.