BORN TO KILL RELOCATED

title: BORN TO KILL

year: 1947

cast: Lawrence Tierney, Claire Trevor, Walter Slezak, Philip Terry, Audrey Long, Elisha Cook, Esther Howard

director: Robert Wise

rating: ***

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEW BORN TO KILL REVIEW AT THE NEW CULT FILM FREAK SITE

ONE HOUR PHOTO

title: ONE HOUR PHOTO

year: 2002

cast: Robin Williams

rating: *

This film, the TAXI DRIVER for the TEVO generation, is one of the worst movies ever made. A straight-laced seemingly-normal extremely lonely psychopath working at a "SAV-MART" in the, yep, ONE HOUR PHOTO center stalks a picture-perfect family which includes a husband (always donning a superb 5 O'Clock Shadow), a wife (Anne Archer of the Emo set) and son (with cute shaggy hair) who all look straight out of a Starbucks ad. We know Robin Williams CAN act seriously (as "The World According to Garp", "Dead Poet's Society" and "Good Will Hunting" will prove) but his performance as "Sy Parrish" (can you get a more symbolic name?) is downright laughable. The first half, centering on "Sy" working within the store and taking his job way too seriously (delving into the punctuating technicques of processing photos and comparing it to humanity in general), collecting run-off photographs of the targeted family and following them around the connected shopping center, far exceeds the second half wherein "Sy" is being chased by the "Threat Management" after finally taking things too far. "Sy" goes from a quiet spooky Norman Bates type into a cross between Freddy Kruger and any villain in a Bruce Willis action flick. His performance from hot to cold is downright embarressing, but not as much as the writing and directing, which tries VERY HARD to weave within a crazy person's mind but ends up scratching the surface... with nothing beneath. I'm still waiting for this movie to get the "so-bad-it's-good" credit it deserves.

THE KILLING KIND

title: THE KILLING KIND

year: 1973

cast: John Savage, Ann Sothern, Luana Anders, Cindy Williams

director: Curtis Harrington

rating: **

A young man (John Savage) who enjoys killing woman, cats, etc.. but most of this boring film centers on the pitiful relationship with the central character and his clingy mother, Norman Bates style. Their relationship not only drags but seems pointless, contrived, and at this point, cliche. All in all this is a boring cult film that has no real beat to it. Should have been more "pointless" murders and less pointless dialog. After all, it's an exploitation.

HERO AND THE TERROR

title: HERO AND THE TERROR

year: 1988

cast: Chuck Norris, Ron O'Neal, Jeffery Kramer, Jack O'Halloran, Brynn Thayer, Tony DiBenedetto, Donna Gordon, Billy Drago

rating: ***1/2

Another action/horror where Chuck Norris plays a cop after a relentless seemingly unbeatable monster of a man, but unlike SILENT RAGE, this one works. Jack O'Halloran lurks somewhere within the newly restored Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles where he used to dwell when it was shut down, and is killing women by sneaking through a grate in the restroom. Known as the Terror, he had just escaped from a mental asylum where Norris's character, the Hero, had put him a year before. Norris is haunted by nightmares of the Terror and now he must find him somewhere within the mazy, complicated structure of the historic L.A. venue. Intense action and horror-like one-by-one killings mix perfectly; along with a little romance which never gets too corny. This is one of the better latter eighties Chuck Norris vehicles.

SILENT RAGE

year: 1982

rating: **

A killer with a bloody axe and two corpses in his wake is first arrested by Texas Sheriff Chuck Norris (after a big fight) and then — after breaking free from his handcuffs — is shot numerous times by police after he tries to escape. The killer rejuvenates thanks to three doctors who pump him with drugs before his death. Killer-man awakens ala Frankenstein's monster and goes back to slaughtering and it's up to cop Chuck Norris to stop him. The best moments happen between Norris and his fat silly deputy sidekick played by Flounder from ANIMAL HOUSE, Stephen Furst. A scene involving Norris beating up a bevy of bikers is probably the peak of this standard action flick, which tries mixing "Friday The 13th" style horror but without much of a pulse... at least not a steady one.

SOMEONE'S WATCHING ME

year: 1978
rating: ***

After John Carpenter shot to stardom with the groundbreaking horror film "Halloween", a made-for-TV movie was the next step... Huh? But it's not bad. Plot centers on a director played by Lauren Hutton - the David Letterman of supermodels - who is, as the title implies, being watched by someone in the building across from her own. Some of the dialog is silly and the characters aren't fleshed out, but the pace keeps flowing, the tension mounts well, and there's that neat Carpenter steady-cam throughout (although sadly there's no spooky-synth Carpenter score). At times this feels like a theatrical thriller edited-for-television; other times it's like watching a TV movie that, with more work, could have made it to the big screen. All in all it's a Hitchcock homage, but looks more like a Brian DePalma-doing-Hitchock. Either way, "Someone's Watching Me" is not too shabby for a small screen effort. Hardcore JC fans shouldn't be dissapointed.