SIN CITY

year: 2005

cast: Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Brittany Murphy, Nicky Katt

rating: *

The look of this movie and THE SPIRIT, both written by "Graphic Novel" guru Frank Miller, is the same: scantly hand-drawn, purposely cheap looking discolored backdrops. Whatever this "new look"...feeling as if a punchdrunk Roger Rabbit molested cheap Japanese anime while giving birth to a braindead Matrix wannabe... is called, it should be forever done away with. This vapid, tacky mess, directed by Robert Rodriguez and with a "special director credit" to Quentin Tarantino, both who've gotten mossy in their middle age... is simply horrible. Porno-esque slowly timed acting and gloriously lame violence all seems like a lonely comic book reader euphorically visualizing his melodramatic dream-film.

KILL BILL DIARY (BOOK)

title: KILL BILL DIARY

year: 2005

author: David Carradine

rating: ****1/2

David Carradine obviously had a few demons in his life, but none appear in this uplifting and somewhat purposely lightweight book chronicling his work on Quentin Tarantino's KILL BILL. The journal/journey begins as Tarantino has a falling out with Warren Beatty, originally cast in the role given to Carradine (Quentin then changed the Bill character from a suave James Bond-turned-bad to a tough-as-nails flute-playing rogue). There's a lot of what some would call "ass-kissing" about Tarantino, but this is understandable as David's career wasn't exactly tops... he'd been on a long, slow decline since "Bound For Glory" in 1976 which came right after his groundbreaking stint on the iconic TV show "Kung Fu". But Carradine doesn't put himself down too much: in his perspective this comeback was long overdue. In his opinion, he and Tarantino working together is more synergy than charity (which I totally agree). He writes non-fiction like others write prose; precise, interesting, and completely involving. For fans of KILL BILL, this is a plus. You get to experience all David's scenes (and then some others that he witnessed) but without any gossip - just the facts about what he went through for a rather greuling shoot going from China to L.A. The only drawbacks are about ten pages (scattered throughout) written by the fat goofy self-absorbed founder of aintitcool.com and his perspective/teasers (which only really mattered before the film came out). The book has everything, including dabs of David's existential philosophies (often comparing the Bill Murray film "Groundhog Day" to Zen Buddism... strange but cool), a sprinkle of politics (bashing Bush and then giving Reagan full credit for ending the cold war), and tons of romance: some centered on his wife Annie; some on fellow KB cast members (Uma Thurman, Vivica Fox, Daryl Hannah); but mostly on Tarantino, whom, at one point, he considers a superhero sent to earth to free the world... no joke. Carradine is such a good writer you don't feel as if you're reading, but rather, like you're hanging out with someone's really cool hippie dad.

PLANET TERROR

title: PLANET TERROR

year: 2007

cast: Rose McGowan, Josh Brolin, Rose McGowan, Nicky Katt

writer/director: Robert Rodriguez

rating: ***1/2

The first (and only good) segment of the theatrical film GRINDHOUSE teaming Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino doing their own "cheap" horror films. Plot centers on a group of survivors during an outbreak brought back from Iraq. The military is at fault (like most "outbreak" films) not for preachy reasons but because it's a sendup of the zombie genre... yet it also stands on its own merits. The characters are fantastic; standouts being Josh Brolin as an evil doctor turned "sicko" and his beautiful, beaten, closet-lesbian doctor wife (Marley Shelton). You'll see a lot in the promotion with Rose McGowan as a stripper with a machine gun leg, but this happens in the last five minutes. Jeff Fahey is also quite good as a sloppy, tough cafe owner: a cross between Vic Tayback and Clint Eastwood; as is Michael Biehn as his sheriff brother. And Bruce Willis, Naveen Andrews ("Lost") and Quentin Tarantino make effective cameos. Writer/Director Rodriguez never lets up with action but still finds time for story, and the character-development is placed perfectly within all the running around, gun-fights, car chases, and killings. Bad sound, screen blotches, and missing reels are purposely added to cement the GRINDHOUSE experience (theaters that'd play several B movies in a row using cheap projectors). This makes little-to-no sense since it's a big budget CGI film, but the flaws, contrived or otherwise, don't hinder this rollercoaster ride one bit. Oh and Freddy Rodriguez (no relation to Robert) does well in the lead male role despite his semi-wimpy appearance (which takes a few minutes to get used to). Overall THIS IS the good child of "Grindhouse"... the second segment, Tarantino's "Deathproof", should be put in time-out... FOREVER!

DEATHPROOF

alt title: GRINDHOUSE  
year: 2007

rating: *

Originally segment 2 of a double-feature horror send up GRINDHOUSE, Tarantino collaborated with buddy Robert Rodriguez doing their own low-budget films. Robert's zombie effort "Planet Terror", with wall-to-wall CGI, is anything but low-budget yet the story's good as are the characters. This film is the complete opposite. Plot SUPPOSEDLY centers on a lunatic named "Stuntman Mike" (Kurt Russell) who has a "deathproof" car: the driver's side protected from crashing but if seated anywhere else you're toast. Unfortunately for body-count-horror buffs there's very little toast - one victim gets snuffed in the very killer car the film's named after while four others are killed BY the car (all deaths occur ten minutes from each other). Imagine cinematic killers Freddy Krueger, Jason Vorhees, or Michael Myers only killing two times per movie. And now imagine them actually CRYING LIKE BABIES, as happens to the "monster" in this movie: An embarrassment from start to finish. 

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

year: 2009

rating: **

There are so many problems with this latest Quentin Tarantino flick I'll just ask one question to begin: Why were the "Basterds" - the scalp-hacking Nazi Hunting American Jews the film is named after - merely extras? We don't see them train, see them hunt, see their missions, learn their quirks, mannerisms, fears, strengths... they're merely in the background of an overall muddled picture. The title should have been HANS LANDA, since he - the flitting Nazi villain played nicely by Christopher Waltz - is not only the best character, but seems to be the ONLY character in the movie. A subplot involving a french girl who survived her family being killed by Landa, running a movie theater in disquise as a Frenchwoman, goes nowhere, for one because I couldn't connect her as the little girl who survived the original massacre - we see her hiding under the floorboards only a few times in the opening which didn't carry on to her other scenes. I just didn't feel enough for her to really WANT the revenge she garners: involving her theater full of the top dog Nazis, including Adolf himself, once again played by an actor going way over-the-top. At this point in history we all know Nazis were evil, but... perhaps when making a film about Nazis being tortured a filmmaker should REMIND US SEVERAL TIMES of their evil more than just a swastika on their uniforms. Brad Pitt's character, the redneck leader of the Basterds, has no overall bearing (he just talks a lot), and other side-characters (a British officer; a German actress double-agent; and a knife-wielding German serial killer) are thrown in that we're supposed to care about but end up meaning close to nothing. Tarantino builds tension like a sleeping dog getting a fire up its ass: with either endless bouts of boring dialog (subtitled no less) that WAY TOO SUDDENLY become loud jarring massacres, with no in-between. And Tarantino ends up knocking himself off at times, for instance: a drawn-out scene in a tavern/pub involving a British officer imitating a German POSSIBLY being caught by a Nazi soldier for having a suspicous accent; then, towards the end of the film, before the climax when things REALLY MATTER, Brad Pitt, meeting the MAIN VILLIAN, pretends to be Italian (purposely not trying very hard) and it's played-out like something from a John Hughes film... which makes you wonder why the Tavern scene mattered in the first place. I'm afraid the great QT has lost his touch... see DEATHPROOF for more PROOF of this theory. Gone are the days of RESERVOIR DOGS and JACKIE BROWN (and, yes, PULP FICTION). Gads, even the beginning title sequence (something that Tarantino usually does so well) is plain boring: black screen with titles and a hollow slow-paced Spagetthi Western score. And the casting of Eli Roth as the bat-weilding "crazy" basterd is a complete joke. (Quentin, hire REAL actors, not your director-buddies, buddy.) And to note, there is a 1978 Italian film called INGLORIOUS BASTARDS which has only the title in common. That movie, starring Bo Svenson and Fred Williamson, unlike this mess ACTUALLY CENTERS on the characters the film's named after.